Saying Goodbye
by Suzotchka1
Summary: After the death of the Brigadier, Sarah receives a surprise visitor.


Saying Goodbye

Author's note: After the death of the Brigadier, Sarah receives a surprise visitor. Thanks to Lilahkat for the beta! All remaining errors are mine and mine alone.

Disclaimer: Sadly, they are not mine.

It had already been a long day when Sarah finally arrived home. After changing into a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater, she grabbed a mug of tea, a box of tissues and headed outside. She needed to sit quietly and alone in her backyard and process the fact that the Brigadier had died.

Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart had died.

"It just couldn't be!" She thought to herself. He had just been over for tea a few weeks ago. With Luke away at University, the Brigadier had taken it on himself to check in on her and assure himself that she was alright. Even though she kept reassuring him that she could take care of herself, his company gave her a welcome respite from teenagers. They both had fun reliving the good old days of giant robots and alien invasions.

It seemed like only yesterday that he had helped her escape from UNIT's Black Archive.

One of her oldest and dearest friends was gone and she would miss him terribly.

Putting the mug down on the small table she grabbed a tissue and blew her nose.

Leaning forward and resting her head in her hands, a thought came to mind of something her Aunt Lavinia told her when she was little; the five things you can't recover in life:

The stone – after it's been thrown

The word – after it's said

The occasion – after it's missed

The time – after it's gone

A person – after they've died

She was startled from her thoughts by a sudden voice behind her. "Ah, there you are! Hello Sarah Jane Smith!"

She wiped her tears and sat back up. Trying to put on a smile, but failing miserably she was sure, she replied, "Hello Doctor." Glancing over her left shoulder she watched as the Doctor walked over and sat down next to her. "I didn't hear the TARDIS. Where is she?"

Pointing, he said, "She's in your driveway just next to the tree over there. You know – the one with all the leaves."

Sarah nodded. "So what brings you by, Doctor?"

Looking at Sarah he could see the dried tears on her face. "I heard about Sir Alistair and wanted to stop by the cemetery so I dropped Amy and Rory off in London for the day. Figured I'd pop by and see how you were holding up."

"I'm fine."

"Hmmm… yes."

She refused to meet the Doctors eyes, instead focusing her attention on the tissue in her hand. "How did you hear about Sir Alistair?"

"Well heard might be the wrong word. More like felt. I felt the ripple of his death in time itself; stopped me cold in my tracks."

Looking back up at the Doctor, Sarah said, "Did you feel it when Harry died? Because you didn't come back then."

Now it was his turn to look away from her. "Sarah …" he began softly.

"No Doctor," she said shaking her head and interrupting him. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair - I shouldn't have said that. It seems that my emotions are getting the best of me today."

He shifted closer to her and put his arm around her. "Yes, Sarah," he started softly. "I did feel it when Harry died. Very much so. I wanted to come back, I really did. But I was in the middle of the Time War and I couldn't leave."

Silent tears fell down her cheeks as the Doctor reached over with his other hand to retrieve the tissues for her.

"I'm sorry Doctor," she said taking one.

Laying a finger under her chin, he gently turned her head to face him. Soothingly he said, "Now what's this really all about Sarah?"

"Would…," she started, unable to get all the words out. "Would you…"

"Would I what Sarah?"

"Would you feel it if I died? Would you come back if it were me?"

The Doctor was taken aback for a moment. He never wanted to think of the day when she wouldn't be in his life. "Sarah, look at me," he said cupping her cheeks. "You're not going anywhere anytime soon."

"You're avoiding the question, Doctor."

"Now you listen Sarah," he said with a little more force. "If it was you and you had died, there would be nothing – NOTHING – in this universe or any other universe that could stop me from coming back. But like I just said, you're not going anywhere anytime soon. I won't let you."

And with that the dam holding back her tears broke. As he gathered her in his arms, he guided her head down to rest on his chest. Kissing her on her temple he proceeded to whisper reassuring words in her ear while tenderly stroking her hair.

A minute or two later after her tears had mostly subsided the Doctor said, "Besides, the way I'm using up regenerations I'll be gone long before you."

Sarah Jane sat back up and poked the Doctor lightly on his shoulder. "That's not funny! Don't you dare put me through that again! I mean it Doctor!"

"We're all going to die one day Sarah. That day is just not today." With just a hint of a smile he continued, "Now who was it that said 'pain and loss define us as much as happiness or love'".

She gave him a watery smile. "No fair throwing my own words back at me." She paused, looking off into the distance before continuing on, "I've said goodbye to far too many people: my parents, Andrea, Aunt Lavinia, Harry…," she turned and looked into his eyes with such sadness it nearly broke his hearts, "…Peter. And now Sir Alistair."

Sarah took another tissue and continued on, "He was helping me keep Luke's presence hidden from UNIT. I'm worried that without him here to run interference with them, they might try to harm Luke."

Taking one of her hands in both of his the Doctor said, "I'll protect Luke. WE'LL protect Luke. He's going to be okay."

"I hope you're right Doctor. This is not the same UNIT we knew."

"Is K-9 still at University with him?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Good. If anything should happen, which it won't, but if it does, you make sure that K-9 or Mr. Smith contacts me. I mean it, Sarah. I care about Luke too."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Sarah. Us Smith's have to stick together, right?"

Sarah chuckled and shook her head. "Of course, Doctor."

"You know, I think you could use a vacation. How about it? The invitation to travel with me is still open." He turned to look at her, and covered her hand with his. "Come with me, Sarah. Come back to the stars with me. I know I don't look like him, like the Doctor you traveled with but I'm still him. I have all the memories and experiences. I remember it all, Sarah."

Her eyes welled up with tears. Oh how she very much wanted to go.

Before she could say anything the Doctor continued on. "I remember the first time we met at UNIT with you masquerading as your Aunt. Or the time when we were on Karn and you," he pointed at her, "were blinded by Maren's ring and Solon wanted to take my head for Morbius!"

"How about the time on Nerva Beacon when you were bitten by the cybermat, right here," he said, placing two fingers gently on her neck. "I have to admit that I wasn't entirely sure that the transmat would remove the poison." He paused before he said, "And remember the beautiful sight of the Aurora Arctialisis in the Sigimund galaxy?"

"Oh, Doctor. I remember every single second of my time spent with you and other than becoming Luke's Mum, they were the best moments of my life. But," the Doctor's finger on her lips stopped her from continuing.

"But you can't come with me." Sadness echoed in his voice as he said the words they both knew had to come.

She shook her head as a tear slipped gently down her cheek.

He released her lips from his touch.

"I can't leave Luke; especially not now. Who would protect the Earth if I went with you? I'm sorry, Doctor. As much as I want to go with you, I can't. I'm needed here."

He wasn't at all surprised at her response. In fact if he were honest, it was the answer he expected. "Well you can't blame me for trying now can you," he paused before continuing on, "But just so you know, the invitation will always remain open."

"Thank you, Doctor. And one day, I just may take you up on that offer."

Standing up he said, "Are you feeling better now? Because I sure could use a cuppa."

Sarah nodded and stood, gathering her tissues and mug.

"Come along then Smith! While you make the tea, I'll tell you about the first time I met Sir Alistair." Putting his arm around Sarah as they walked to the house he continued, "You know, I was wearing bow ties back then too."


End file.
